today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
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The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
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I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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