I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
