OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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