This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
