The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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