If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
