im holly from the hills drunk
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
