I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
