You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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