Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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