i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
