its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
