I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
