4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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