Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
