we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
