Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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