She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
