Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
