she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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