I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
