So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
