Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
