My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Randomize
