I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
