I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
