Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
be right there i have to get my cape
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
