i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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