I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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