I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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