I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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