it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
