these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
