just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
