Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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