OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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