Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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