im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also, beer. Big fan.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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