Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
