So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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