She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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