her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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