I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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