Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
