a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
