fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
