Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I need help removing her.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
either way he was missing a nipple.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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