wrigley field is MILF paradise
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
