1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize