god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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