I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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