Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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