she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
me + whiskey = a bad person
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Oh god it's open bar.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
