wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
