She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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