You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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