Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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