Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
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all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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