At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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