I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
