In America we eat man semen.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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